Have you ever found yourself racing through your day, barely catching your breath, wondering where the time went? I’ve been there – as a multi-passionate entrepreneur, mom, and caregiver, I know how easy it is to get caught in the hustle and lose sight of what really matters.
Today, I’m diving deep into something we all talk about but rarely master: being present. I will share five practical steps that have transformed how I experience my days, helping me slow down, reconnect, and truly live – not just survive. Whether you’re feeling overwhelmed, constantly busy, or just craving more meaningful moments, this episode is for you.
This week, episode 263 of the Positively LivingⓇ Podcast is about 5 steps to be present each day!
We’ll explore what being present really means, why it matters, and the simple strategies that will bring more awareness and joy into your daily life. Trust me, these aren’t just theoretical ideas – these are real, actionable steps that I use myself and help my clients implement.
What Does It Mean to Be Present?
When we say we are being “present,” what does that mean? Being present is about engaging with the current moment, the here and now. We do that by paying attention to what’s happening internally and externally. When we stop to consider our thoughts, feelings, and sensations in the moment and we pay attention to the people around us, our environment, and the tasks at hand, we are practicing being present.
It’s about moving from autopilot into awareness, and it also includes doing so without judgment or distraction. It’s also about focusing on the current moment, rather than dwelling on the past or worrying about the future. Another word for it is mindfulness.
Benefits of Being Present
Why is being present important? The benefits are significant. When we are present, we experience life more fully and deeply. We are able to identify more readily the things that bring joy and we are able to more easily practice gratitude. We connect more deeply with others and we reduce stress and anxiety because we’re not constantly caught up in our heads where we may ruminate about the past or worry about the future.
Being present allows us to make better decisions, because we are more aware of our options and our intuition. When we’re present, we’re truly living, not just going through the motions. It’s about our quality of life.
In episode 247, we talked about being intentional to be productive. That’s similar to being present in terms of the action we take and doing so is an antidote to reactive action, the “putting out fires” approach to life that blocks you from your goals. Intentional action means choosing how and when to act. It’s about being purposeful and deliberate about what you do, and being present is part of it, but I want to expand on the concept today because the benefits of being present extend far behind the action we take.
If you Google “being present,” you will get tons of ideas with lists that give you actions you can take, like avoiding screens and meditating. All of these have potential, but there are underlying concepts I want to highlight so you can customize an approach that’s right for you.
Five Steps to Be More Present Each Day
1. Slow Down
One of the biggest issues we have is that we are constantly moving too fast to notice where we really are and what we’re really doing. How often do you respond with “busy” to the question “How are you?” Even the response itself shows us how quickly life is passing us by and how little time we feel we have.
Our society feeds into the speed of life by encouraging us to cram in as much as possible during waking hours. We have FOMO–fear of missing out–and then we overbook and overtask ourselves and end up going nonstop from morning until night, spiraling down a stress-filled path. It’s no wonder we end up craving carbs and caffeine!
As Ferris Bueller says, “Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.”
The first step to breaking free from this furious pace is to stop constantly matching pace. Life will still speed ahead, but if we slow ourselves down, we’ll have a chance to breathe and to witness what’s going on around us, as well as to take a new approach. It’s a bit like a pitstop in a race. You pull over, get your bearings, take care of repairs, and then when you’re ready, go back in!
2. Find the Patterns
The next step is to figure out the traps–the things keeping you from being present. You want to find the patterns in your life that are keeping you from slowing down and reflecting. One of the first places to do this is your habits. We’ve talked a lot on the podcast about habits, which are essential for being more productive. Developing habits requires repeating steps.
We need to ask ourselves what steps are we repeating, what habits we’re creating (intentional or not) and what neural pathways these repeat patterns are deepening. This is not just about “good” and “bad” habits, but about how habits automate our brains. Even within the habits that serve us, the point is to lose track of our actions as our brain automates them, which is the opposite of being present.
Habits are still a good thing, but I believe they are the first place to review when you’re trying to find the areas in your life where you’re automatically acting. Then you find a way to step out of autopilot, even briefly, so you can practice being present.
One of the best ways to do this is through novelty. Have you noticed that when you start something new it takes longer to do at first because you must focus on each step? You can use that natural response for your benefit but recreating that experience within familiar things to purposely slow yourself down.
For example, when you need to drive somewhere you go often, choose a different direction or a different path on purpose. The change of pace will slow you down and encourage you to see your environment. You know those commutes where you are suddenly at your destination and you can’t recall how you got there? That’s the brain checking out. Help it check back in by taking a different route for a bit. You may even find when you go back to the original route, it feels less rote to you and you can practice being present again.
Some other ways to purposely slow down could be tying a new recipe or restaurant or changing up your environment. Rearranging furniture is a favorite of mine. I know I probably drive my family nuts, but it helps me reset the space, clean more deeply, and then experience the space differently.
We are creatures of habit. When you enter a theater or church, consider sitting in a different area. Not only will it slow you down, you will literally have a different perspective and see things differently.
When you shift routine and environment, it forces you to slow down and pay attention, pulling you into the present moment. It’s like rediscovering the world around you. I originally had this idea from my experience as a proofreader.
Our brains will fill in information that we read to ensure it’s correct and makes sense. That’s fine for comprehension and instruction, but when you’re a proofreader trying to find the mistakes, that causes problems. One of the classic ways to counteract this tendency is to read lines of text backwards because it slows you down.
3. Pause and Pay Attention
Where can you find places in your day to stop…or at least to pause? Are there natural spots built in or natural breaks where you could build one in? Practice paying closer attention to what you do at any moment, especially the things you do “on the go” or quickly, without thinking. Take advantage of these to pause and pay attention.
You could be having a cup of coffee or at a red light. Maybe it’s when you need to stop work to get the kids from school or you are getting ready for a regular doctor’s visit. Any time you have a place in your schedule when you transition from one thing to the next, you have an opportunity to pause, slow down even for a moment, and notice.
Transition time between tasks is an excellent opportunity to pause and pay attention. A deep breath is a good start. You can also try something simple like my two-minute transition meditation, which you can request for free at http://positivelyproductive.com/transition – It’s super fast and effective to help you focus better on your next task, in part because it helps you be more present.
4. Ask Yourself Questions
We’ve talked a lot about being curious and how it doesn’t leave room for judgment, which I love. Now is the time to get curious. When you have slowed down and paused, ask questions! I mean any and all questions, especially ones that seem obvious or that you know the answers to already.
These could include questions like:
- What am I doing right now?
- Why do I do this?
- How do I feel about it?
- How do I feel right now?
- What do I like about this?
- What bothers me about this?
Having to answer these questions is another way to intentionally slow down an activity you normally rush and the bonus is that you can assess aspects of it you might have ignored. You can do this with any task or habit, from making coffee to exercising.
5. Use the Buddy System
Being present with another person has multiple benefits. First, when you engage with another person, you are inherently being present. You’re listening, observing, and responding, which equals being present. Second, there is an accountability partner aspect with this that will likely help you. Over 70% of the population are Obligers, according to Gretchen Rubin’s Four Tendencies, and they need outward accountability.
The buddy system has benefits not only because you’re interacting with them. You can find benefits in how you interact as well. To practice being be present, consider specific topics and intentions. For example, you could try teaching them something or talking about what you do regularly. It sounds obvious to you, but in doing so, you are making yourself pause and reflect and you’ll receive an outside perspective.
This approach has the potential to be a multi-level mindfulness practice: being present with a person, and practicing being present through awareness and expression of what you’re doing. There’s even the meta level of your intention to practice being present and how you can share with each other what you’re learning about being present and how this partnership encourages you both.
But wait, there’s more! The extra bonus is that this is also a way to express gratitude and strengthen relationships, as you’re giving someone your undivided attention and valuing their presence.
Putting It All Together
Now it’s time for the finale. What if I had one example of how to combine all five steps in a simple, fast approach? I’m up for the challenge and happy to share what I do.
For some time, I noticed that I was making coffee in the morning, placing it in a travel mug, and rushing out the door. It’s understandable as there is much to do and I want to be productive. It’s a natural thing and it’s also what I am all about. But I realized that doing so wasn’t really making me more productive, it was really just placing me in a different location to not be ready to start work yet. That was the pattern/habit I discovered that I could use to practice being present.
I decided to try drinking my coffee in one sitting, in a real mug. I have a favorite mug that says “A fun thing to do in the morning is not talk to me.” which is extra funny because I’m not really that guy, but the sarcasm is on point and the mug is huge, which makes me happy. I make my coffee and actually drink it while it’s warm. If you are someone who has had to warm their cup in a microwave repeatedly, you know what a big deal this is!
During this “coffee break” that starts my day, I sit somewhere comfy and savor warmth, aroma, and taste. And when it’s summertime, I’ll savor the cool of the iced coffee.
During this time I am not only present with the coffee, I also ask myself questions about how I’m feeling in the moment and about the day and maybe what my intentions are or my hopes for the day. I gently acknowledge my worries and sit with my thoughts.
I savor not just the coffee, but the breather before I jump back in the fray. It works well as a transition between tasks for me.
That covers steps 1-4. The way in which I incorporate step 5 is by messaging my biz bestie. We do a morning check-in and share how we’re feeling.
Finding What Works for You
I realize the way I described this smacks of “ideal life on Instagram” and for anyone on the go this can sound impossible, so I need you to understand that I can do all of this within 10 minutes at most. I set a timer. I brew the coffee while I message my bestie. I focus on the quality of the moment and not the amount of time I take.
Some mornings I can take longer; some need to be fast. It’s doable, I promise you. You can waste 10 minutes accidentally most days, so why not try an intentional practice instead?
Also, if you’re wondering if I have a second cup, the answer is yes…and most times I take that to go. But that first cup is in place and with me being present.
Hopefully you see how you can make this work for you. Maybe you already do? As always, I would love to know what you thought about this topic and what you’ve tried that worked. If you found value in this episode, please share it on social media and let others know about it.
Please keep in mind that a quick review of the podcast on Apple is a great way to help others find and trust that it’s worth listening to, and I would consider it a gift. Thanks again for being present with me today and in each episode.
