Are you struggling to support the men in your life—your husband, sons, partner, or father—who feel the pressure to be strong, stoic, and silent? Do you watch them struggle, knowing the cultural expectation to suck it up keeps them from seeking the help they need? Outdated ideas about masculinity create significant barriers, often leading men to dismiss their own emotional needs as a weakness. This week, episode 285 of the Positively Living^Ⓡ Podcast is about why men’s mental health matters!

In this powerful episode of the Positively Living Podcast, host Lisa Zawrotny revisits a vital, deeply needed conversation to challenge the stigma around men’s emotional well-being. Lisa speaks with guest Tim Beisiegel who shares his profoundly personal journey through family trauma, health struggles, and the cultural conditioning that taught him to deflect pain and avoid counseling. Tim’s story is a courageous plea to all men to acknowledge their trauma and allow themselves to receive care, reminding us that doing so is an act of courage, not a weakness. Tune in to the Positively Living Podcast to learn how you can encourage and support the men in your life as they navigate their mental health.

Tim Beisiegel is a married man and father of three, who discovered a passion for podcasting as a crucial outlet for social connection and sanity during a time of intense family health struggles. He joins the podcast to share his own lifelong struggle with avoiding mental health access and his eventual, courageous decision to seek counseling after profound trauma. Tim is the host of the Funny Science Fiction Podcast, where he indulges his love for all things sci-fi and pop culture. He emphasizes that acknowledging trauma and seeking help is not a weakness, but one of the most courageous things a person can do.

Tim and I cover the following topics:

How to help the men in your life understand that the belief they must carry it alone is an outdated stigma.
As a wife, mother, or caregiver, remembering that you also experience trauma when your loved ones suffer.
Encouraging men to see submission to an outside influence, such as a counselor or therapist, as a strength.
The most important way to shift the narrative around men’s mental health is through open conversation.
If a man in your life tries therapy and doesn’t connect, encourage him to keep trying. Finding the right counselor is like finding a good friend—it needs to be someone you can trust and be comfortable with to ensure the relationship is beneficial.

We all have a role to play in normalizing men’s mental health and support. If you know a man who needs to hear this episode, or if you simply think the men you love should hear this conversation, please share it. When we make space for men’s mental health, we make space for everyone’s healing.

Breaking the Silence: A Guide to Supporting Men’s Mental Health (Including Yours)

Life hits hard. You know it, I know it, and the men in our lives know it, too. But for generations, many men have been taught a tough lesson: suck it up, be stoic, and never show weakness. This outdated rule creates a silent battle where husbands, fathers, sons, and partners carry immense emotional weight alone, often dismissing their own pain or trauma because they think “somebody else has it worse”. If you’re a woman who loves and supports the men in your life, or if you’re a man ready to put down the heavy backpack of trauma, this article is for you. We’re sharing powerful, honest lessons from a conversation with a family man who learned the hard way that seeking help is the ultimate act of courage. It’s time to normalize the conversation and make emotional well-being an expectation, not a question.

Are You Ready to Put Down the Backpack?

You might be wondering, “Is this really for me?” or “Do I actually need help?”. If you or a man you love has gone through a tough divorce, a major health scare, a stressful life change, or deep trauma—yes, this content is for you. The key is to be willing to submit to the idea that outside help or direction can have a positive impact on your life. This isn’t about giving up control; it’s about gaining strength.

Here’s what you’ll need:

Open Mind: Be ready to challenge old ideas about what it means to be strong and manly.
Willingness to Talk: The biggest step is simply having the first conversation.
Support System: A partner, friend, or professional who is nurturing and encouraging.

Step 1: Stop Deflecting Your Trauma (Even if Someone Else Had it Worse)

The problem is that you (or the men you care about) are quick to dismiss emotional needs as a weakness. A common mistake is using the suffering of others as an excuse to avoid your own pain, thinking, “They had it worse, so I’m fine”. This is called deflection, and while it feels like a coping skill, it’s actually blocking your path to healing. When you go through a crisis—whether it’s supporting a sick child or facing personal unemployment—you experience trauma too. Ignoring this pain is like putting a wet cat in a backpack; you can only stuff so much in before the bottom rips open and everything spills out at once, often at the worst possible time. A better approach is to see your experience not as a competition of suffering, but as a valid source of pain that needs to be dealt with. Acknowledging that you’re hurting is the first true act of strength.

Recap: Acknowledge the Pain

Trauma is Not Just for Soldiers: Realize that going through a major family crisis counts as trauma for you, too.
Deflection is Not Healing: Understanding that saying “I’ll be okay” or “They had it worse” is often just a way to avoid dealing with your pain.
The Backpack Will Rip: Know that if you keep stuffing down trauma, it will eventually burst out of your control.
Your Pain is Valid: Tell yourself that your emotional struggle is legitimate and deserves attention, even if you can find a “silver lining” in the situation.

Step 2: See “Submitting” to Help as the Ultimate Power Move

For many men, the word “submission” sounds like the opposite of being a man. They feel they must be able to handle everything on their own, and that asking for help is a sign of being a lesser version of themselves. This thinking keeps you stuck on an island, alone. The truth is, submission to help is a huge inner strength. It takes incredible courage to say, “I need this outside influence to act upon me, to help me, to direct me”. Think of it like a car: you don’t fix a broken engine yourself; you take it to a mechanic because they are the experts. When you stop fighting the need for direction and submit to the process—whether it’s counseling or a support group—you move into a very calming place because you are no longer carrying the full burden alone. You can start by telling yourself, “I’m doing this for my family,” and if that gets you in the door, that’s a win.

Recap: Choose Strength Over Isolation

Submission is Strength: Understand that letting someone guide you shows courage, not weakness.
You’re Not Cured: Realize that this is an ongoing process, and you might need to “refill the tanks” with a checkup every now and then.
Use Family as Your Motivation: If you can’t go for yourself, go for your family, so you can be a positive and productive member of their lives.
Find Your Calm: Remember that once you accept outside direction, your life becomes a much calmer place.

Step 3: Start the Conversation and Find Your Right Fit

You might be hesitant about counseling because you picture lying on a couch talking about your childhood bicycle. It’s easy to create negative scenarios about seeking professional help. But here is the new reality: the single most effective way to remove the stigma is to simply talk about it. Every conversation you have—with a friend, your wife, or a professional—makes it more normal and more acceptable. As you look for a counselor, remember they are like friends: you need to find someone you connect with, feel comfortable with, and trust. Don’t give up if the first person isn’t the right fit; it’s totally normal to “upgrade the friend route” a couple of times to find the right person for you. The goal is a beneficial relationship where you can share your emotions and trauma honestly.

Recap: Take Action Now

Normalize Through Conversation: Commit to talking about mental health to make it an accepted topic for everyone.
Don’t Give Up on the First Try: Understand it might take two or three tries to find a counselor you trust.
Seek Comfort and Trust: Look for a counselor who feels like someone you can be friendly with and who you feel comfortable sharing deep emotions with.
Keep Moving Forward: Even if you feel okay now, remember to continuously check in, just like your car needs a tune-up to keep running well.

Conclusion: Living Positively, Together

The big idea is this: When we make space for men’s mental health, we make space for everyone’s healing. For years, you’ve been told to just “move on,” but we now know that’s impossible when you are carrying trauma. Your family is your world, and taking care of your mental health is the best thing you can do for them.

Here are your steps to implement these ideas successfully:

Acknowledge Your Trauma: Be honest about the emotional toll major life events have taken on you, without comparing your pain to others.
Talk to a Trusted Person: Share this article, share your story, and start the conversation with a loved one or friend.
Choose Submission as Strength: Look up mental health resources and commit to seeing a professional, understanding that this is a powerful, courageous choice to better yourself.
Find Your Fit: Interview a few counselors until you find one with whom you feel a strong sense of trust and comfort.
Keep Going: Commit to regular check-ins or “tune-ups” to ensure you stay positive and productive in your life.

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Learn more about Positively Living^Ⓡ and Lisa at https://positivelyproductive.com/podcast/

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CONNECT WITH TIM BEISIEGEL:

Funny Science Fiction Podcast

Instagram

CONNECT WITH LISA ZAWROTNY:

IMPORTANT LINKS AND RESOURCES:

SAMHSA.GOV

Psychology Today

The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel VanDerKolk